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Single White Biebmale

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | September 20, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | September 20, 2010 |

Oh, February, you glorious dumping ground of crap. Where the studioops go to die, nestled among the re-releases of the Oscar noms.

I guess every generation needs their “cah-razy” roommate story. But honestly, this trailer seems to typify everything that is wrong with the Generation Cyrus the Virus. From the name, to the bland television actors, to the stale cliche shopping, to the music in the trailer, it’s just painful. This is going to be another PG-13 forget-me-not that earns all its keep on a weekend when better R rated films are playing. I didn’t think they could actually auto-tune a plot, but ta-fucking-dah.

There’s the BlackBerry Rule in screenwriting: you should never write a movie that can be solved with basic technology. A cell phone, a Facebook page, a simple fucking Google search — and they seem to use them all. Nowadays, people exchange friend requests like they’re Japanese businessmen trade business cards. So you’re telling me that today, a college freshman wouldn’t have already gone on to their roommate’s Facebook page to see if they were roomed with a psycho-loser?

Seriously though, these actors are named Cam Gigandet, Leighton Meester, and Minka Kelly? It’s like aliens chose random words to make birth certificates from. Do not be afraid, hu-mon — Mountebank Coffeequeue comes in peace.

I don’t even have the energy to be mad at this film. It’s like bringing cake in a grocery-store plastic container to a dinner party. Everyone involved knows you didn’t try. It’s almost better not to have gone to the effort.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.