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Nicolas Cage Battles Witches, Hairstylists, And Narcolepsy

By TK Burton | Trailers | November 15, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | November 15, 2010 |

I don’t mean the movie, I mean the trailer.

Season Of The Witch, despite having a decent cast (including Nicolas Cage, Christopher Lee, and Ron Perlman) has been sitting on the shelf for nearly a year already. We showed the first trailer way back in November of 2009, and it still hasn’t been released. Instead, we’ve got the new, full trailer for you today. The film involves Nicolas Cage as a knight of some sort (!), who is charged with delivering a woman accused of being a witch to some religious folks and then she djklvb/.fgfdph,gsdkj=-4054ujmklgh…..

What happened? I think I blacked out.

Look, I’m just going to call it now: Season Of The Witch is not going to be good. In fact, I’m fairly certain it’s going to be quite bad. Worse than Solomon Kane, which looked very similar in style, and was a terrible movie. The trailer for Season Of The Witch is so brutally dull that I only made it 1 minute and 15 seconds in. I’m not going to bother watching how it ends, so by all means, let me know if it got better.

Or don’t. I really don’t give a shit. Season Of The Witch now has a release date as well, in the midst of the cinematic dumping grounds for the worst movies of the year — yes, January 7th. This is not a good sign. Who will review it, you ask?

[quietly backs out of room]

[gets in car]

[drives the fuck away with a cloud of dust in his wake]

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.