If you haven’t heard of Season of the Witch, you’re in good company. It’s one of the 4,312 movies that Nic Cage is scheduled to be in between now and next June. It’s about a group of 14th-century knights who transport a suspected witch to a monastery, where monks deduce that her powers could be the source of the Black Plague. And if we’ve learned one thing from Ricky Gervais’ The Invention of Lying, it’s that the 14th century is a terrible century to set a movie.
It doesn’t help that this comes from Dominic Sena (Whiteout, Swordfish), whose only talent is flashy trailers and the promise of Halle Berry’s boobs. Halle Berry, however, doesn’t appear in Season of the Witch, so I’m afraid the best you’re going to get is probably a shirtless Ron Perlman.
Here’s a 30-second teaser trailer for a movie set to be released next spring. They debuted it this week, in the hopes of cashing in on the Halloween holiday, suggesting that “Halloween is for Amateurs … See you next Spring.” Right, because when I think Spring and Easter and opening day of baseball season and tulips, I always think of terrifying Nic Cage films.