In this Country, You Gotta Make the Money First. Then When You Get the Money, You Get the Power. Then When You Get the Power, Then You Remake the Movies!
I’m not going to bury the lede here — they’re remaking Scarface. Yes, Brian De Palma’s 1983 film about drug lord Tony Montana is a classic. But it’s also become a now-cliched and tired icon for many wannabe gangsters and thugs. As a result, a shockingly large number of people under 30 have complete name recognition for the flick, and maybe even worship it, yet they’ve never seen it and couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it other than to spit out an awful “say heee’lo to my leetle friend” impression.
Which is why The Walt Disney Studios — I shit you not — has decided to try to cash in on that recognition by remaking and modernizing Scarface. There’s some speculation that this is nothing more than a cash grab for an eventual Scarface themeland, although there’s not that much credibility to those theories. However, there’s complete credibility in the story that there will be a Scarface remake because they actually managed to start filming already, silently under the radar, and have now released a teaser trailer.
Contrary to popular opinion, Scarface comes nowhere near being the movie to say “fuck” the most. According to trusty Wikipedia, the recent Hot Tub Time Machine, with 212 fucks, actually beats Scarface’s 207 fucks, and neither come anywhere the documentary Fuck and its 824 fucks, or the runner-up, 1997’s Nil by Mouth (I dunno what it is either) and its 470 fucks. However, 207 fucks is still too many for Disney, so it’s not terribly surprising that they look to be cleaning things up a bit. And yes, this trailer stinks of the hand of Disney. And yes, we can all agree that Scarface should never be remade …And yet, it’s got potential:
…I dunno who that kid is playing Montana, but he’s got some some chops. I hope this elementary school does Dog Day Afternoon next, cause I’d love to see his take on “Attica! Attica!”