When you pictured the guy who directed Hairspray taking on the Broadway hit, Rock of Ages, and translating into onto the big screen with Tom Cruise as the aging icon rocker, Catherine Zeta Jones as the evangelical nutjob, and Alec Baldwin as the sleazy (sleazier?) version of Alec Baldwin, and Russell Brand as the obnoxious 80’s version of himself, I’m sure you didn’t have high hopes. But picture how bad it could be, then multiply that by ten, divide it by Andrew Lloyd Webber, slap it with the back of your hand, and then crush it on your forehead. That’s how bad Rock of Ages looks.
Yes. I’m serious.
But then they busted out the Starship song. I AM POWERLESS.
Rock of Ages is going to be terrible, just flat out awful. But I have a feeling it’s going to be terrible in ALL the right ways.