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Only an A**hole Gets Killed for a Train

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | January 26, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | January 26, 2010 |

Everywhere you look, people are getting repo’ed. They just did a godawful abortion of a musical about repossessing organs and Hot Topic. Now, Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker are going all gunkata on the same basic concept. But there was always the glorious, glorious punk rock original.

Alex Cox’s Repo Man is not a great movie. It’s like the Buzzcocks version of filmmaking: gritty, boiled down, loud, boisterous, obnoxious, smashmouth, berserker, ridiculous, sproingy. The power of Repo Man comes from authentic anger, a lashing out at the commercialism of the world. Emilio Estevez steals cars and drinks generic white cans with BEER stenciled on the side. It’s a middle finger up the ass of Reaganomics.

What the fuck Alex Cox thinks he’s doing with Repo Chick is anyone’s guess. Punk rockers should die young or fade away. You can’t oi against the establishment when you’re collecting social security. Check the trailer below if you feel like taking a bleach enema up a nostril.

It looks like it was shot by the people who make Lazytown for Nickelodeon. It’s like the filmic equivalent of the foreign music videos playing in Armenian restaurants strung together and just as logical. The entire flick was shot green screen on the new RED digital cameras. Which probably means something to someone somewhere, but honestly, it just makes this look like one big ass karaoke video that was shot with cell phones at an low-rent Ohio amusement park.

There is nothing even remotely similar to the first one other than it makes fuck-all sense. I’m embarrassed for everyone involved in this, from the lead actress whose name I refuse to look up to Roseanna Arquette to the tragedy that is Miguel Sandoval — who is incredibly better than this atrocity. It’s like your stately grandfather pooping himself — seeing what’s become of Alex Cox. You made Sid and Nancy, dude. You were the scratched-throat howl of a generation. And now, you’ve made a Fanta commercial with guns.

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