Really? We're Going to Get Excited About a Movie About a Tire?
I’m feeling contrarian today, so I’m going to say it: Why is everyone losing their undies over a movie about a tire? Literally, a tire. A tire named Robert. A tire named Robert that kills people. A tired named Robert that kills people and elicits a law enforcement man hunt? A tired named Robert that kills people and elicits a law enforcement man hunt and likes to watch women take showers?
OK, fine. The trailer is amusing, but I do have to wonder how long this premise can be carried out. Do you really want to see a 90-minute movie about a tire? Is a tire a character you can get emotionally invested in? Will we care about the fate of that tire? Or will we suffer through the entire ordeal and then, because it’s supposed to be cool to like a movie about a killer tire, leave the theater faux-excited and tell our friends, “You have to see this awesome movie about the killer tire!” And when that friend sees that movie about the killer tire and reports back, “I didn’t get it” and then you’ll have to be like, “What? It’s a killer tire! What’s not to get! It was so awesome!” And then that person will be like, “Yeah. I think I’ll just get my movie recommendations from Pajiba from now on.” And you’ll be like, “Pajiba? Man, that site is overrated.”