Priest is one of those films that feels like it’s been rattling around forever, never to actually see the light of day. In fact, the first time we reported on it was September of 2009. Now, the film is actually complete and is set to be released in May — the week after Thor and the same weekend as Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, meaning… it’s basically fucked.
That said, it still looks entertainingly stupid, or stupidly entertaining — pick your poison. The cast is a hodge-podge of weird, awesome, and crap — Paul Bettany, Maggie Q, Karl Urban, Christopher Plummer, Cam Giggety (whatever the fuck, I don’t care), Stephen Moyer, Brad Dourif, and Madchen Amick. I mean, damn. That is a random-ass cast. It’s directed by Scott Charles Stewart, who I respect because he, like me, has an abundance of first names. However, as a director (he also directed Legion), he hasn’t proven himself to be very good.
Here’s the synopsis, in case you couldn’t make sense of that bizarre-o CGI mishmash of I Am Legend castoff effects:
Priest, a post-apocalyptic sci fi thriller, is set in an alternate world — one ravaged by centuries of war between man and vampires. The story revolves around a legendary Warrior Priest (Paul Bettany) from the last Vampire War who now lives in obscurity among the other downtrodden human inhabitants in walled-in dystopian cities ruled by the Church. When his niece (Lily Collins) is abducted by a murderous pack of vampires, Priest breaks his sacred vows to venture out on an obsessive quest to find her before they turn her into one of them. He is joined on his crusade by his niece’s boyfriend (Cam Gigandet), a trigger-fingered young wasteland sheriff, and a former Warrior Priestess (Maggie Q) who possesses otherworldly fighting skills