Shhhhh. There, there. Calm down. Relax. Nothing is going to hurt you in this post. We here at Pajiba will keep you nice and safe. Just don’t think about it. Let us guide you. Put your well-being in our hands. We won’t do anything to harm you. It’s OK, sweetie. It’s OK. We love you. We love you very, very much. You’re gonna be OK. Just gently press the play button on the trailer below, and let it all wash over you. Trust us. We care about you, and we would never let anything bad happen to you.
(Never trust a site that rhymes with vagina. We will fuck you every time.)