The other day, after Kay Jewelers ran their idiotic ad about chocolate diamonds (poo diamonds, that’s a winner) at every single commercial break for three straight hours, I finally got that their slogan was a pun. “Oh my god, every kiss begins with Kay! Like the letter!” After assuring Mrs. SLW that I was in fact serious, and had taken over three decades to figure that puzzle out, I was asked what the hell I thought the ad had meant all this time. “I just thought the company was terribly misogynistic and was saying you wouldn’t get any action without jewelry.”
I digress into this explanation of my complete incapacity for identifying plays on words because the original intro I wrote for these clips about Oz: The Great and Powerful was a bunch of riffs on the poem Ozymandias. Then I started to wonder if I had just missed the point all these years, and the name Oz was supposed to be an obvious reference to old Mr. King of Kings. Then I watched six episodes of “Better off Ted” because I forgot that I hadn’t finished writing this post.
In any case, Oz: The Great and Powerful continues its confusing multiple personalities by giving us Sam Raimi, James Franco, Michelle Williams, Rachel Weisz, and Mila Kunis, while simultaneously looking one Depp short of the annual Tim Burton CGI vomit pile.
Here are a pair of minuscule teaser things run before and after the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve.