Every time I think about The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, I get a severe case of the eye twitches. It pains me. It’s a live-action remake/re-imagining of a classic, wonderful bit of Fantasia. The very concept makes me grit my teeth to cracking. It stars Nic Cage, a man who hasn’t shown a shred of integrity in years. It’s directed by Jon Turtletaub, the guy responsible for both National Treasure films.
And God help me, it looks kind of fun.
You see, it also has a pretty great cast, other than Nicolas Cage’s scary-ass wig, which he appears to have borrowed from the crazy cat lady. Alfred Molina, Monica Bellucci (gulp), Alice Krige, and of course Jay Baruchel, whose particular brand of nerdy/geeky nasal drone for some reason hasn’t worn out its welcome yet. And, well, it just looks like it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and, well, maybe will be sort of enjoyable? Besides, we all know that crazy Cage is the best Cage (although… I’m not positive there isn’t just crazy Cage nowadays).
[hangs head in shame]
Oh, fuck all of you. Just watch the new goddamn trailer and shut your goddamn cakeholes.