Hey, remember when that movie came out? The one with the guy and the girl who are friends and decide to start having sex with each other since they’re both single but don’t want a relationship? And there’s a random gay friend? And then they start to have feelings for each other?
Yeah, that one.
Here it is, all over again.
The one that already came out was called No Strings Attached, and it starred Ashton fucking Kutcher and Natalie Portman. Those two sort of cancel each other out, if you ask me — actually, the presence of Kutcher gives it a -1. Then it had Mindy Kaling, which is a +2, at least, and Kevin Kline, which is a +1. It also had Greta Gerwig and Olivia Thirlby, which is another at least +2, I’d say, although they’re criminally underused, so I’m going to leave it at two. It’s directed by Ivan Reitman, who hasn’t directed a good movie in probably 15 years. That’s another -1.
Then we have Friends With Benefits, which stars the very charming Mila Kunis (+1) and Justin Timberlake, whose music makes me want to throw an angry cat into a baby carriage, but who has proven to be a solid actor (+1). It’s got Woody Harrelson as the gay friend (+2, minimum). It also features Patricia Clarkson (+1), Andy Samberg (-1), Emma Stone (+2), and is directed by Will Gluck (Easy A), which I’d say gives it another +1.
Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner.
If I did any math wrong, shut the fuck up. No one gives a shit what you think anyway, and your friends don’t actually like you.
Sorry, that last part slipped out.
Here’s the damn trailer.