After teasing us last week with a breathtakingly nit-witted 14 seconds of New Moon, Summit Entertainment has finally unleashed another full-length trailer, this one focusing on the werewolf dude with a disproportionately sized torso. According to Taylor Lautner, New Moon is “a lot more complicated than Twilight was,” and from the looks of the trailer, I think he’s right. If by “more complicated,” you mean: Rage-inspiring bullshit for subintellectual twits. Or, what we like to refer to as: Teenagers.
If you like seeing Lautner without a shirt on, however, this trailer is for you. And so is an irreversible lobotomy. This trailer basically demonstrates why birth control should not only be readily available in all schools, but why condoms should be surgically attached to every penis in America until a male reaches the age of 25. This is some serious goddamn after school special brooding, petulant vampire horse dicks.