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The Worst 14 Seconds of Your Tuesday

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | August 11, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | August 11, 2009 |

I do this because I love you, and because I feel that karma has a way of evening things out. So, if I give you the worst 14 seconds of the day, then the solar system owes you 14 wonderful seconds, which — coincidentally — is the level of stamina for the average Pajiban male. Oh, but what a glorious 14 seconds you can look forward to. It’s perfect, really. Lovemaking won’t even interfere with the commercials.

Anyway, here’s the teaser trailer for the Twilight sequel, New Moon, which is expected to run ahead of Bandslam on Friday. It’s apparently Summit’s new marketing strategy — release New Moon is 14-second segments in front of all the studio’s clunkers, and increase their box-office potential by a billion. No one — not even the most hard-up, entertainment-starved tween — wants to see Bandslam. But these 14 seconds will add at least $1 million to the box-office take. Guarandamnteed.

Bask in the glittery glory!

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.