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New Fast Five Trailer: Lonely, Bitter Critic for 4th-Tier Website Looking for Rough Trick with Deep Voice

By BarbadoSlim | Trailers | March 9, 2011 |

By BarbadoSlim | Trailers | March 9, 2011 |

Pulls eyes forward from back of head


Pajiba just doesn’t get what the Fast & Furious franchise is all about. What’s this site’s problem with adrenaline and testosterone and AWESOME? Did Vin Diesel refuse your Craiglist add (You know: “lonely, bitter, critic for 4th tier website looking for rough trick with deep voice…”) or something? This site’s anti-Diesel agenda borders on pathological.

There’s no fucking way I’m missing this. I am so there, you hipster douchebags. So just go back to squeeing over the next Zooey Deschanel project and leave the next Fast and Furious movie to the men. And any quote on quote “male” here who doesn’t wet his Hanes Fast & Furious is ….mmm…less than heterosexual. So go home, and listen to your Wham! and the latest Elton John poof-fest, again

/suck it, haters

p.s. Star Trek sucks and J.J. Abrams can go blow himself.


BarbadoSlim is a leading expert on gender sensitivity issues and runs “Tantric Yoga Classes for a More Loving Relationship” out of his home in Taos, where couples can sleep in guest suites decorated in homage to Sting and Trudie Styler. He is also the President of the Jennifer Aniston fan club, and credits his love for Aniston with helping him through the seven months he spent in captivity in TK’s basement in 2007.

(Bio Source: PaddyDog)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.