I never thought I’d say this, but there’s a chance… a slim chance, but a chance nonethless, that Marcus Nispel’s Conan The Barbarian might just be awesome. I don’t mean it’ll be good. God, no. There isn’t a fucking prayer of that. But there’s a chance that it may elevate itself into B-movie glory. It looks absolutely idiotic. But it looks like violent, gory fun, filled with goofy dialogue and lots of sword-swinging mayhem.
A big part of my change of heart is the fact that now that I’ve actually seen Jason Momoa in action in “Game Of Thrones,” I realize he might be great at it. His portrayal is essentially an English-speaking Khal Drogo — shirtless, grunting, fucking people up. And you know what? I can live with that. The truth is, this doesn’t seem likely to adhere to some of the character’s canon — it doesn’t appear that he’s a thief or adventurer, but who knows. Ron Perlman looks awesomely strange and shaggy. Rose McGowan is strangely hot, in a way I’m not quite comfortable with. It’s gonna be dumb, but it might be a fun dumb.
Anyway, here’s the new red-band trailer. NSFW for lots of blood and shitty nu-metal.
All I can say is, if he doesn’t punch a camel, I’m setting the theater on fire.