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New Conan The Barbarian Trailer: All I Can Say Is, There Better Be Camel-Punching

By TK Burton | Trailers | June 20, 2011 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | June 20, 2011 |

I never thought I’d say this, but there’s a chance… a slim chance, but a chance nonethless, that Marcus Nispel’s Conan The Barbarian might just be awesome. I don’t mean it’ll be good. God, no. There isn’t a fucking prayer of that. But there’s a chance that it may elevate itself into B-movie glory. It looks absolutely idiotic. But it looks like violent, gory fun, filled with goofy dialogue and lots of sword-swinging mayhem.

A big part of my change of heart is the fact that now that I’ve actually seen Jason Momoa in action in “Game Of Thrones,” I realize he might be great at it. His portrayal is essentially an English-speaking Khal Drogo — shirtless, grunting, fucking people up. And you know what? I can live with that. The truth is, this doesn’t seem likely to adhere to some of the character’s canon — it doesn’t appear that he’s a thief or adventurer, but who knows. Ron Perlman looks awesomely strange and shaggy. Rose McGowan is strangely hot, in a way I’m not quite comfortable with. It’s gonna be dumb, but it might be a fun dumb.

Anyway, here’s the new red-band trailer. NSFW for lots of blood and shitty nu-metal.

All I can say is, if he doesn’t punch a camel, I’m setting the theater on fire.

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TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.