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Need That Extra Little Push Before Jumping? Ten Minutes of Breaking Dawn Clips

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | November 5, 2012 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | November 5, 2012 |

Just to be upfront about things, I am not, have not, and will not be, watching these two clips. Blah blah something about journalistic integrity. Listen up, I’ve got a precarious mental balance to worry about, and the Pajiba health care plan only covers one institutionalization per year before they ship you to a Ryan Murphy asylum. I’m not going there. I don’t need my extra saucy wings clipped.

The Twilight franchise is like the Xeno’s paradox of terrible movies. You keep getting through half of what is left in the series and never actually reach the blessed oblivion of the end. The entire exercise might in fact be an elaborate exercise of social Darwinism, subjecting those with intelligence and taste to a harrowing ordeal that only leaves the strongest to survive. If more iterations of this series keep coming out, then the only intelligent people left in the human species by 2100 will be those with mutations for willpower so intense that they can light fires with their cynicism.

So no, I do not encourage you to watch these clips. They certainly involve sparkles and red eyes and awkward bad acting, almost definitely include bad CGI werewolves and intimations of a plot so full of holes that it can no longer scientifically be defined as solid matter, and with surety include at least one shot of a vacant eyed llama drooling over a baby. But by all means, if you’re the sort to vote Democrat and watch Fox News for three hours each night, then go for it. Blow your diseased mind:

Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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