Hey! Look! There’s another planet in our solar system. It’s been hiding behind the sun all this time. And now it’s going to crash into Earth and kill us all. Worse, it might ruin Kirsten Dunst’s wedding. But Kiefer Sutherland is also in the movie, so maybe he’ll yell at the planet hurtling toward the Earth REALLY LOUD and the planet will shoo away and go bother Mars or something.

It all looks very, very pretty, as one expects from Lars von Trier. But it also looks deathly dull. Melancholia, indeed.

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