film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb


The Search For More Money

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | November 23, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | November 23, 2010 |

I adore the original Mean Girls. It’s the one thing I turn to, like a Catholic with a statue of the Virgin Mary or a date rapist to his Dane Cook DVDs, when I need to re-establish my faith that Lindsay Lohan will one day rise like a phoenix from the ashes of her sundered career. It showcased both Tim Meadows and Tina Fey in a bra and the females of SNL worth a damn and Tiny Fey in a bra. The original Mean Girls actually worked: all the wacky antics and slapstick was centered on the actual plot like a Cary Grant comedy.

This straight to DVD monstrosity is like a parasite that crawled up the ass of a cheerleader as she was humped against a moist gym sock stuck to the backseat of the captain of the wrestling team. It hollowed out the shell, retained the name, and left a husk which was filled with misery, woe, and athlete’s foot. The only thing remaining is shame and Tim Meadows.

The cast is filled with a lot of Disney Channel/ABC Family also-rans, most notably Jennifer Stone who plays Harper on “The Wizards of Waverly Place” as Abby. Otherwise, they basically took the kids who understudied the High School Musical — the twentysomethings playing teens who aren’t quite ready to shed their clothes and swear their way into the mainstream — and jammed them all up in this piece. But it makes sense, since it’s directed by Melanie Mayron, one of the stars of “thirtysomething.” I know we all need money, but Mel — if you make the same movie over again, only poorly, it doesn’t count as a sequel.

Oh, and just to finish off that lingering faith in humanity, this was penned by the writing team of Elana Lesser and Cliff Ruby, who’ve been writing for longer than I’ve been alive. Ever since they stopped writing “Dragon Tales” and “The Chipmunks,” they’ve moved on to bring us most of the direct to DVD Barbie movies like Barbie On Swan Lake and Barbie: Roofies Taste Like Self-Esteem and Barbie: I Can Fit Most Of It In My Mouth, Can You? So remember all that stuff about how group mentality is bad and how girls shouldn’t rag on each other because it gives the boys power? Yeah, probably got replaced with frappucinos and wearing pink.

The 12 Best Moments from Last Night's "How I Met Your Mother" | The Greatest Story About Belgium Never Told | Belgium: More than Waffles and Pedophile Scandals

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.