Nobody Puts Billy Zane in a Corner
You just look at the title to Love N’ Dancing, and you think: There’s no way it can get more retarded than the name of the movie.
But then you watch the trailer.
This has what “So You Think You Can Dance Dance with the Stars Revolution” has wrought: A swing-dance competition movie. And no: This is distinct from How She Stepped Up, Stomped the Yard, and Got Served 2 — it’s not targeted at tweens. It’s targeted at the adults who plant their fat asses on their couches on Monday nights and loudly announce to their cats that they could do better than Denise Richards if only they had a professional dance partner and 16 extra hours a day to practice.
Love ‘N Dancing (no shit, that’s the real title) stars Amy Smart as a woman who decides to take a dance class, only to be tapped by her deaf instructor as a partner for the U.S. Open swing-dance competition (does such a thing exist?). The catch? Apparently, Amy Smart’s fiance, played by Billy Zane, ain’t crazy about all these bojangle shenanigans.
Whatever. My advice: Just dance. Dance like it hurts. Dance like you’re selling nails. Dance like you’re fucking the floor and the ceiling all at once. Just do it. Dance!