Liam Neeson is all bummed out. In real life, he lost his beautiful wife, the fabulously talented Natasha Richardson. In his movie life, he seems to have suffered an injury that may (probably not) be affecting his memories. He may or may not remember who he is. His wife denies knowing him and someone has taken his identity. What do I care that when I watch this trailer I don’t see anything much different from the first one? Does it really matter that I feel certain I’ve seen some version of this movie before? Is it disturbing I feel like I’ve even heard this exact dialog in another movie? No, no and no. What matters here is that Liam is in crisis and whether it be fictitious or real, I’m here to comfort him. Why just last week, I penned him a warm greeting — why don’t I share it with you?
You are so pretty. And sad. And pretty. I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife, Natasha. She was a wonderful actress and I’m sure she was a lovely wife.
I think enough time has passed though; you must be feeling like you need some intimacy and physical closeness with someone. Of course, I realize you’d neither want nor need to replace your beloved Natasha yet, but I’d like to offer my services as “interim lover.” I am wise enough to know that you’ll need someone in between your lost love and the next (younger, prettier) movie star type who will eventually win your heart. I can be the conduit to a new love life. I can hold you if you need to cry and afterward, convince you to take a hot shower to wipe away your tears; then we can make the sweet, sweet, steamy love. When I have helped you heal through the sharing of feelings and quiet cups of tea, when we have exhausted ourselves physically and played so many games of Scrabble that you never want to play again, when you have admitted that you can barely remember Natasha’s touch…then I will let you go. It will probably be around the time that you finish the required Battleship reshoots, which reminds me, could you just jot down Skarsgård’s number?
I’m here for you…
So anyway, here’s the new trailer. I think you can tell that Liam’s heart isn’t really in it, nevertheless, it has the formulaic makings of a good action/thriller, a decent cast and der…Liam Neeson.
Unknown is directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan) and also stars Frank Langella, Diane Kruger, Aidan Quinn and January Jones. The film hits theaters February 18, 2011 and I expect a response to my letter by Friday.