Yeah, we’ve shown a lot of trailers for Kick-Ass. What of it? You calling us geeks? Fanboys? (*wipes snot off nose, wipes it on pant leg*) Fuck you, man! What do you know about us? I got laid last night. By a real person. Inyourface! (*puts down joystick*) Let me tell you something, all you cosmopolitan poseurs. Kick-Ass is gonna kick your ass. Fuck yeah! (*high fives self*) So take your fucking douchebag hipsterville crappolla art films, and cram ‘em up your cramholes. Kick-Ass is about real people, man. Real people who want to save the world. Like you and me, except hotter. I bet they got laid twice last night. Holla!

Watch this trailer, Skillet Holmes. It’s gonna do a number on you. It’s gonna put you in a world of emotional pain, like the time that Barry Allen died in The Flash. You feeling me? Get Some 41!

(*picks up joystick*)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.