Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Teaser: At Least Bryce Dallas Howard's Not Wearing Heels
Jurassic World was terrible. You can shout out all you want in comments. You can tell me how much money it made. You tell me how many critics gave it a positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes (72%), and I will still tell you it’s terrible. I will still bang the drum that it is a toy commercial first, and a fitting sequel to the classic Jurassic Park—like—18th.
In between those rankings, I’d offer a slew of complaints about how this Colin Trevorrow travesty was needlessly mean toward its so-called “Bridezilla,” giving her the nastiest death the franchise has ever seen. I’d remind you how the main character arc was business woman Bryce Dallas Howard learning that work is no way to happiness, so she better get a domineering dude and some babies in her life real damn quick. I’d beg you to remember how Judy Greer was in this movie, but you probably forgot because she was wasted on a bookend plot that bolstered its sexist ideology. I’d rant about the kids in the movie being portrayed as obnoxious instead of adorable. But I would never ever forget to mention those stupid fucking high heels that it had BDH wearing as she ran from literal monsters. 2015 was the year where Rebecca Ferguson gracefully slipped out of heels for an action sequence in Mission: Impossible — Rogue Nation. And it was the year that the most unconvincing thing in Jurassic World was not raptors becoming a motorcycle gang, but that Howard could keep her white business attire pristine while running around a jungle in heels. I’d say somewhere Laura Dern is laughing ruefully. But get real, Laura Dern isn’t wasting her time watching Jurassic World.
Anyhow, the sequel Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has a teaser. The good news is Colin Trevorrow only has a screenwriting credit here, as J.A. Bayona (The Orphanage, A Monster Calls) has taken the helm. The better news? Even in this brief clip, you can see Howard isn’t wearing heels this time.
The full trailer is coming Thursday. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is coming June 22, 2018.
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