film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb


Journey 2: The Mysterious Island Trailer: What... I Don't Even...

By TK Burton | Trailers | November 14, 2011 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | November 14, 2011 |

Yes, yes, I know that it looks like Dwayne Johnson is bad-touching Josh Hutcherson in the header pic but THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE.

This is a sequel to a horrible movie that if you saw, you should probably evaluate your life choices. It stars Dwayne Johnson, Hutcherson, Vanessa Hudgens, Luis Guzman, and Michael Caine. Caine is clearly tired of his recent run of decent movies, Guzman I think just doesn’t know how to say no, Hudgens isn’t an actual human being but rather a construct made of scrap metal, children’s bone marrow, puppy dog tears, all wrapped in a rubbery husk shaped like a girl, and Johnson simply refuses to acknowledge his action star potential. I don’t know what Hutcherson’s excuse is.

Fuck it, here’s the trailer. I will warn you… at the end, you will see something you cannot unsee.

Hope Yet for Storytellers: Rome Sweet Rome Film Deal | M. Night Shyamalan May Finally Become Self-Aware In One Thousand A.E.

TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.