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It's French, So You Know it's Classy: 'Beauty and the Beast' Trailer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | December 4, 2013 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | December 4, 2013 |

Like most Americans, my education in classical children’s tales begins and ends with Disney. Have you met people who are really in to Disney? They save the stacks of hundreds of Disney movies for when they have kids, like properly intellectual people save stacks of books. To them, childhood is about Disney movies. And that is a terrible tragedy.

But the French (not generally as a national effort, but specifically in the hands of Christoph Gans) are adapting Beauty and the Beast into a live action film. I would have assumed at first that they were trying to reclaim some classic telling of the story from the clutches of the cackling mouse demon of Hollywood, but well I can’t particularly tell the difference. So maybe it’s more an homage to the Disney version. All I know is that all they’re missing are some singing teacups, and they might have left that out of the trailer.

So here’s the trailer. It’s in French. That’s how you know it’s classy. Like San Diego.

Ah, he’s not a beast, he’s a big teddy bear. See’s that my problem with Beauty and the Beast as it’s been traditionally told on screen, other than complete indifference to the projects, that is. The beastly appearance is supposed to be an outward manifestation of inner ugliness. None of the beasts cast on screen are in any way monstrous. Oh, they’re not human, but in a world where people have websites dedicated to fucking Chewbacca, I don’t think slapping some fur on someone is making them particularly monstrous.

These renders of a monster are downright attractive by comparison. Sleek, powerful. How many guys did they have to curse before they finally found one who thought there was a downside at all to the curse?

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.