For those of you who have never waded into the comments section here at Pajiba (Warning: May cause permanent brain damage and erectile dysfunction), there’s a commenter that makes an occasional appearance on slow days by the name of Adventureman. He’s kind of Dadaist. Sort of like what you’d get if you crossed Zack Galifianakis with a spambot. He leaves strange comments that are just on the cusp of coherence, but they’re often intriguing enough that you want to try and figure out the hidden meaning. I think it’s some sort of alien/zombie code, or Adventureman is using Pajiba to send secret messages to Al Qaeda. Here’s a sample:
The Associated Press is not a joke. Have you can even ever actually read for now? It really is of want proportional has become Kevin Mcallister. You’re just saying to decide ever needing Buzz your girlfriend…woof! You don’t extra large Taylor Swift, tv and one of those refigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it. Well fuck you. She’s actually more of suck brick kid needing. Universe, you’ve done it again!
What all of you don’t realize, however, is that Adventureman is actually the commenter handle for Joaquin Phoenix 2.0, the aspiring rap musician that Casey Affleck made a documentary about that involves a lot of Hollywood debauchery, frontal nudity and a sequence, at one point, where someone takes a dump on Phoenix while he’s asleep.
There’s a new teaser trailer out now for the doc, called I’m Still Here. This is it: Adventureman in action. Universe! You’ve done it!