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I Love You, New "Spartacus: Vengeance" Trailer (Yes, And You, Too, Crazy-Eyed Lucy Lawless)

By Rob Payne | Trailers | December 22, 2011 |

By Rob Payne | Trailers | December 22, 2011 |

This week has been, like, totally ridonkulous in the realm of trailer releases, you guys. First, we had Nolan’s (I’ve decided he gets the singular last name treatment now, like Hithchock, Kurosawa, and Spielberg) latest glimpse at The Dark Knight Rises, which flirted like Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman with blowing our minds. Then there was the expert brilliant-verging-on-cloying pulling of our heart strings with Peter Jackson’s (sorry, Pete, no last-name-only status for you just yet) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Between those two we had Ridley’s (getting the rarely used first-name-only treatment, reserved for those with highly popular last names) trailer trailers for Prometheus, which we’ll finally get to see in all its glory today or tomorrow. But I hesitate to say that the latest peek at the Starz swords n’ sandals series, “Spartacus: Vengeance,” might be the best of the whole bunch.

Check it out (it’s not NSFW, but it’s also not not-NSFW):

Okay, it’s obviously not the “best” by any factor other than face-offening, and maybe it’s just the fact that “Spartacus” will be available starting January 27, whereas all the rest are at least six months from now. Regardless, that really hit the spot, as “Spartacus” usually does. It offered a bit more info than the first for how the season will play out, as well as the aforementioned face-off-including requisite action. Also nudity, there were definite hints at the upcoming nude scenes. But what’s most interesting (to me) is the summary for the new chapter on the Starz website:

“On the heels of the bloody escape from the House of Batiatus that concluded ‘Spartacus: Blood and Sand’, the gladiator rebellion continues and begins to strike fear into the heart of the Roman Republic in ‘Spartacus: Vengeance’. Gaius Claudius Glaber and his Roman troops are sent to Capua to crush the growing band of freed slaves that Spartacus leads before it can inflict further damage. Spartacus is presented the choice of satisfying his personal need for vengeance against the man that condemned his wife to slavery and eventual death or making the larger sacrifices necessary to keep his budding army from breaking apart. Containing all of the blood-soaked action, exotic sexuality, and villainy and heroism that has come to distinguish the series, the tale of Spartacus resumes in epic fashion.”

My emphasis on the choice that Liam McIntyre’s Spartacus will have to make is exactly what I wanted to hear. I guess it seems an obvious choice, but I was concerned they would take the easy way out and just keep finding excuses for the slaves-turned-rebels to continue gladiatoring at the expense of continuing the story. It’s also the growth that Andy Whitfield will sadly never get to play, and that’s really the only thing missing from the above trailer. Which is substantial, but I think we’re in good hands.

And, really, I am glad Lucy Lawless is returning. I can’t wait to see her crazy eyes in action, even if it is a little frightening. I’m saying, I have the weirdest boner right now.

Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you’re into that sort of thing). He really does have the weirdest boner right now, it could win an award for achievements in awkwardness.