OK, first of all: Some of you are going to say that these are harmless fluff films, and what’s the point in getting all riled up about that. And that’s an excellent point, and one that I haven’t much of a response to, except for this: Shut the fuck up, you worthless fucking killjoy. If you’re going to get annoyed because I’m annoyed, than feel free to fuck off and die and go find a website where people are reasonable and the writers give a shit what you think. Just because it’s harmless fluff, doesn’t mean it has to be goddamn terrible.
There, that’s good to get off my chest.
There are two trailers in this post, and I encourage you to watch them. Not because they’re good, because sweet merciful crap, they are truly awful. But because I’d like you to see just how goddamn unoriginal teen movies have become. First, we have Prom, which is sort of what would happen if Sixteen Candles ate a pile of moldy goat dicks and then swallowed an entire box of laxatives:
Next, we have the delightfully saccharine Go For It! (ake sure you get that exclamation point in there. That’s how you know they’re not fucking around). As near as I can tell, Go For It Exclamation Point is the exact same story as Step Up… or Save The Last Dance… or How She Move… or Center Stage?. Except it has a Latino cast. Seriously, I’m pretty sure that’s the only difference.
Also, I think this looks better than Prom. How sad is that?
Hey, you know that game you play with Chinese fortune cookies, where you finish the fortune with “in bed”? I was thinking that, if I were a Hollywood producer, I would do something like that whenever I heard a pitch for movies like these. Except that instead of “in bed,” I’d use “and then everyone got disemboweled by ninjas.”
Here, I’ll show you how to play:
At Prom, every couple has a story and no two are exactly alike. Several intersecting stories unfold at one high school as the big dance approaches; Prom portrays the precarious passage from high school to independence as some relationships unravel and others ignite. For Nova Prescott (Aimee Teegarden), it’s a battle of wills as she finds herself drawn to the guy (Thomas McDonell) who gets in the way of her perfect prom. Fellow seniors Mei (Yin Chang) and Tyler (De’Vaughn Nixon) harbor secrets, while others face all the insecurity and anticipation that surrounds one of high school’s most seminal events. There are hundreds of nights in high school, but there’s only one Prom. And then everyone got disemboweled by ninjas.