As I was contemplating a headline for this article— an article about a really terrible looking trailer, just a straight-up shite trailer— I was planning to make the claim “Natalie Dormer Deserves So Much Better Than This.” But then I started questioning myself. Because does she? I feel guilty even asking the question, but here we are. Now, I love Dormer. I think she’s spectacular. (Or, at the very least, she does that spectacular thing with her mouth.) And she does really well on television. But she seems to be trying to transition over to film and it is maybe not going as she would hope. She had a cameo in that movie about rich entitled assholes a few years ago (in a role all about, er… doing things with her mouth, wouldn’t you know), a small role in the last Hunger Games (which will hopefully be bigger in the next), a one or two other turds not worth mentioning, and now this.
Dormer’s new movie, The Forest, places her and her better-than-decent American accent front and center in what looks to be a completely generic, nothing special or interesting about it, horror movie. Shower scene? Check. Jump scares? Check. Creepy kids? Check. White chick battling Asian mysticism? Oh boy, check. The titular forest is referring to the Aokigahara, or “suicide forest” or “sea of trees” (the last of which was the title and setting for the Matthew McConaughey movie that got seriously booed at Cannes earlier this year). The forest is reportedly the most popular site of suicides in all of Japan, and for people who believe in the paranormal, it’s supposed to be one of the most haunted places on Earth. So let’s send a white woman and her white guide in to save her white sister from all those evil Japanese ghosts!
Natalie Dormer, I want to believe you’re better than this.