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You People Deserve To Die

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 7, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 7, 2010 |

Hey, you guys wanna see something really stupid?

Yeah, you do.

Here’s the trailer for High Lane, a movie that doesn’t have a drunk’s fucking prayer of being released into theaters. It’s about a group of pretty young people who go rock climbing in the wilderness and end up being hunted by some atavistic hillbilly freakshow (obviously). It looks awful. Bizarrely, it’s a French film, with what appears to be a French cast, filmed in the French Alps (doubling for Croatia, apparently), and yet everyone sounds generically American (in fact, I’m not 100% certain it isn’t dubbed). I am goddamn puzzled. Regardless, there’s so much wrong with it, I barely know where to start. Watch it for yourselves:

Holy panda-raping fuckbeans. Terrible acting. Ridiculous voice over. And spoken as a casual outdoorsy person… could these people be any less prepared to be in the wilderness? Did they even bring food? Helmets? A fucking pocket knife? Shit, I love cleavage as much as the next guy, but seriously girls: buy a fucking sports bra.

The greatest sin this film will likely commit is killing off the stalker and letting a couple of these morons survive.

Anyway, there it is. Your daily dose of idiotic. You’re fucking welcome.

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TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.