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An All Star Cast of Fat-Bottomed Suck

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | April 16, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | April 16, 2010 |

You know that funny bone of yours? Pull it out. Seriously: Just jerk the fucking thing out of your body. You’re not going to need it for the new Grown Ups trailer. It’s of no use to you. None. The best thing you could do with it is to pull it out, track down Adam Sandler, and jab it into his rib cage and twist. Then pop it back in real quick because that might be funny.

Fuck you, Adam Sandler. And Chris Rock. And Kevin James. And Rob Schneider, while we’re at it. And why’d you have to bring pretty Salma Hayek down to your level. Oh nooooooeees! The Sandler curse! Salma Hayek is done for, y’all. Nobody survives the Sandler curse, except for Drew Barrymore. And that’s only because, if there’s a nuclear apocalypse, the only thing left in the world will be cockroaches and Barrymore’s destruction-defying cuteness.

Here’s the trailer for Grown Ups, featuring all your least favorite people doing spectacularly unfunny things. With kids. Hey! But that four-year-old breastfeeding joke is hilarious!

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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