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How To Permanently Scar Your Children For Life

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | June 22, 2009 |

By Brian Prisco | Trailers | June 22, 2009 |

I’ve given children permanent nightmares. I have one friend, who by merely making the “Doot-doot-doota-doota” sound of a circus calliope, I can make wet his pants.

This trailer, which was presented by the lovely ladies of the Popcorn Mafia during their live anniversary show, destroyed my soul. It’s like the fucking Ring video. I can never unwatch this, and I’m pretty sure that some sort of stuffed animal is going to drag me to the Hell of A Thousand Cabbage Patch Kids (Chinese gotta lotta hells, Mr. Burton).

Things you should know before watching this trailer:

1) It is absolutely a real movie.
2) It is a current movie, and not made in the 90s like you would think.
3) It will eat your soul.


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