Did you guys see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra? Were you filled with sadness and regret in its aftermath? Did the presence of Marlon Wayans’ sad attempts at comic relief, Rachel Nichols’ wooden imitation of wood, the worst performance in Joseph Gordon Levitt’s career, and utterly abysmal storytelling, asinine direction and overblown effects — did all of those things completely shit on your memory of the cartoons/comic books/toys?
Well, here’s something interesting for you, then. Jon Chu, the guy who directed TWO Step Up movies, as well as Justin Beiber: Seriously, What The Fuck, has directed the sequel: G.I. Joe: Retaliaton. And you know what? It… it kind of works. It’s got some pretty impressive action pieces, a more serious tone but not too serious, and a shitload of ninjas. And ninjas make everything better. Watch:
Basically, it looks like he dumped half the cast of the first film (the worst half, I must say), and feels a lot more like what I’d have envisioned a live-action film to look like. The goofy technology, the dumbass suits, the Wayans brother — all that superfluous stupid shit — is gone. In fact, Chu did the smartest possible thing: he killed them all off, allowing him to basically start from scratch, using only the barest framework left from Stephen Sommers’ shittastic original. He added in a few newcomers — Adrianne Palicki, Dwayne Johnson (finally, the right kind of role), Ray Stevenson, Elodie Yung, RZA, and Walton Goggins (not to mention an… unusual cameo at the end of the trailer). He kept Potato, Arnold Vosloo as Zartan, Ray Park and Byung-hun Lee as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow — for the most part, the best parts of the original (well, OK, maybe not Potato).
And most importantly, a Cobra Commander who doesn’t look like he has a melted fish tank on his head.
Now don’t get me wrong — I’m not expecting this to be great. But it might do what the first one failed to — it might actually be entertaining. Might.