We’ve all heard about the ongoing criminal investigation into FIFA and the breathtaking corruption within the organization. This past Monday President Sepp Blatter resigned. I’m sure most of us are currently looking forward to John Oliver’s victory lap on Last Week Tonight later this evening.
What you may not have heard, though, is that prior to all of this FIFA had almost fully funded a movie about the origins of FIFA and the great men (including Sepp Blatter himself) who have run it with nothing but dignity and integrity.
That film opened on Friday, June 5th. Oh, you didn’t hear about it? That might be because the opening screening in Los Angeles counted only two audience members, and the film itself has been described as “pure cinematic excrement” which I think is pretty obvious from the trailer, but it’s nice to have it confirmed elsewhere. IGN has helpfully compiled a list of the 19 most ridiculous moments in the film for you to peruse at your leisure so you don’t ever have to see it to understand just how terrible it is.
The FBI has described their investigation into FIFA as “ongoing” which means the long-term cultural value of this film is unpredictable.