There's Only So Many Ways I Can Ask for My Mommy
Released just in time to be attached to the Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel (I will not say it’s name), here’s the trailer for Brendan Fraser’s Furry Vengeance, which you can watch from the comfort of your computer without having to slog your way to see Alvin. Oh, you’re so welcome, too. You’re going to love this one. It’s just what you asked Santa for.
You remember that time you sat on his lap, and you felt a weird protuberance? Yeah. That’s what watching this trailer feels like — being molested by a fat man in a Santa suit with whiskey and sausage breathe.
You can thank me later.
Here: Let’s make up, OK? AvB just sent me a link to one of our ads (the full-page takeover ad, which you hate. I know. Shut Up), which I hadn’t seen yet. And people: I know it’s an ad. And I know we’re being paid to run it. But holy Christ in a concrete bucket, it’s rad. Seriously, fucking rad.
You want your Mommy now, don’t you?