Yeah, yeah, the header was a cheap shot. Cram it.
So here’s the thing about Renny Harlin: He’s not a particularly good director. Sure, he’s made some entertaining films — The Long Kiss Goodnight remains a clever and enjoyable classic, and God knows I love every dumb fucking minute of Deep Blue Sea. But he also directed Cutthroat Island, Die Hard 2, The Covenant, and the direct-to-DVD shitstravaganza Mindhunters (which is way worse than you’ve heard).
So when I hear that he’s actually tackling a serious subject, I get nervous as fuck, because, as I said once before, he’s a B-movie director who routinely receives A-movie funding. It appears that’s happened again, with his new film, Five Days Of War. The film is about journalists covering the Russo-Georgian War of 2008, and as usual for these types of film, it’s a glossy, action-heavy kaboomfest that paints the journalists as affable rogues. In reality, the war was a brutal, vicious war that the Human Rights Commission claims was replete with war crimes and indiscriminate bombings and shootings of civilian targets, displaced thousand of people, and was an utter clusterfuck and period of misery.
The movie seems to focus on explosions, with some drama thrown in. Also, Val Kilmer after eating all the popcorn from Real Genius.
Here’s the trailer:
New rule: Any movie with Heather Graham in a serious role — nay, in any role — gets an automatic Razzie. It’s hard to believe that after Boogie Nights people actually thought she was talented. Sheesh.
Also, Dean Cain is in this.
I believe you know all you need to know.
Now bow to your king.