I’m very excited for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, not simply because it looks uncompromisingly entertaining, but because I have a suspicion that it’s going to end up boycotted by very entertaining overly serious people. Harry Potter teaching devil worship? That idiocy is going to be nothing compared to the detonation sparked by one of the great heroes of the republic appearing on celluloid (or the pixelated equivalent) in the proximity of the undead. Is it too much to hope that there will be protesters saying the film is offensive to the memory of Lincoln, while wearing Confederate flag t-shirts?
Maybe sanity will prevail, but I assume it won’t, and if certain people are going to be unrepenting morons, I’d prefer they look like idiots on the local news while they do so. Because I’m caring that way.
Anyway, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter hits theaters June 22, but not before first debuting on the USS Abraham Lincoln, which is a nice touch in and of itself. There are two new trailers, which actually are very different cuts, as opposed to just redicing the same couple minutes of footage. First up is a red-band trailer, which isn’t particularly red bandy:
And next is a right and proper green band trailer, which doesn’t appear to be any less bloody, but I’m sure the MPAA has some frame by frame analysis which tells us which particular bit of CGI butchery was over their imaginary line: