Dracula Untold looks worse than that time you attempted to use makeup to contour your face like Kim Kardashian and it looked like you got into a fight with a spray tan in a dark alley. It’s pretty terrible. It also makes for a fun story though, right? Especially after a few drinks and the recruitment of your friends.
This is why I cannot wait to watch Dracula Untold. I’m going to swill my Dos Equis Lager Especial, grab a couple of friends, and MSTK the shit right out of it! It has two unmistakable hallmark of schlock that, when combined, rate highly on the stank-o-meter: impassioned speeches from people in a damned monster flick and tons of CGI bats.
Bonus Charles Dance:
The Dracula origins story stars Luke Evans, Dominic Cooper, Sarah Gadon, and Samantha Barks and opens October 10th.