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Dolphin Tale Trailer: Of All the Trailers We've Posted Today, This Is the Only One About a Dolphin

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | April 8, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | April 8, 2011 |

Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Harry Connick and a dolphin.

Look, I don’t know if this would help or not. But would an apology suffice? There are four new movies out today, and that means a lot of trailers are premiering. I don’t have any choice in what trailers they are. And I’m just really sorry that this is the lot we have to choose from. Dolphin Tale? I feel so guilty. I wish I could just push a button and make it all go away. You people — you’re nice … well, no. You’re not nice. Actually, a lot of you are assholes. But you’re our assholes. And you deserve better than the trailer for Dolphin Tale.

What can I do to make it better? Did you guys see last night’s “The Daily Show”? Hilarious! Maybe that’ll make you feel better? How about htis:


It’s Christina Hendricks! And she’s wearing red gloves and kneeling over a chair! No, I don’t really get it, either. Man, I am full of fail today. How about this:


That’s kind of weird, right? Why is that woman placing her hand on Taylor Kitsch’s head? Maybe she’s trying to read his mind. I think he’s saying, “I’m trying to get this goddamn necklace off.”

I’m sorry. It’s just not working out today. Everything just keeps coming up, “You suck, Dustin!”

I’ll just get out of your hair now.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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