Seriously, what the fuck, Disney. What is this, huh? You think you can just throw together some footage of baby chimpanzees and it’ll somehow work? It’ll somehow pull at our heartstrings and make us want to see your dumbass movie? Oh, what’s that? It’s “Disneynature” now? Well, excuse the fucking hell out of me.

I’m sorry, but I ain’t buyin’ what you’re selling. Oh, look, fucking apes. Yippee doo. Oh, wow, there are babies. And they have… little… faces. And… oh! They’re playing and wrestling. And… um…hugging his mom. And he… he gets abandoned? Is… is it dusty in here?

What? And a new chimpanzee adopts him? And… aw… they’re… aw, lookit.

Goddamnit.

That’s just dirty pool, I tell you.

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.