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Colombiana Trailer: Zoe Saldana Will Bloody Your G*ddamn Nose and You Will Say THANK YOU

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | May 5, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | May 5, 2011 |

Dude. Dude! Duuuuude! You have to check out the trailer for the Luc Besson scripted, Olivier Megaton directed Colombiana, something akin to the unofficial sequel to The Professional where Natalie Portman grows into the slammin’ fantastic body of Zoe Saldana and beats the holy living snot out of the people who murdered her parents. And then pulverizes their corpses. The last 27 seconds of the trailer may just puncture your lungs. I don’t know how the movie could possibly live up to the trailer, but who cares? I’m just going to put on a helmet and watch this on repeat.

I give it three fist pumps.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.