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Full-Length Captain America Trailer: Coming Again To Save The Motherf**king Day, Yeah

By TK Burton | Trailers | March 23, 2011 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | March 23, 2011 |

OK, remember that annoying “ET” clip of Captain America that I posted yesterday? Pretend that never happened. Instead, here’s the real, official full-length trailer for (sigh) Captain America: The First Avenger.

There’s some good new stuff here — Tommy Lee Jones doing the voiceover, more of the creepy mini-Chris Evans (seriously, is it me or does it look like some fucked up Evans/Dobby hybrid? ::shudder::). A couple more seconds of Howling Commandos. Sebastian Stan’s Bucky Barnes. Stanley Tucci as Abraham Erskine. Another quick shot of Weaving as the Red Skull (I like that they’re keeping him to brief glimpses). Dominic Cooper as a young Howard Stark (played by John Slattery in Iron Man 2). And a little bit of ass-kicking.

As I said yesterday, my expectations for this are pretty tempered. Honestly, I just want it to be a good time. It doesn’t have to shoot for the moon and be the NEXT GREAT SUPERHERO MOVIE. I’m cool with that.

Incidentally, did you know that Albert Pyun, who is essentially a lower-budget Uwe Boll (contemplate that on your tree of woe), is releasing a director’s cut of his 1990 version of Captain America? No, not the one where he wore a cape. This one:

Yep. It’ll have 30 minutes of additional footage. Just think of how bad that footage must be. Oh, and it’ll be released on blu-ray, so you can enjoy it in high definition awfulness.

And that, true believers, is your Captain America news for the day.

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.