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Breaking Dawn — Part 2 Teaser: Bella Gets Laid, Becomes Beautiful Eternal Monster Who Eats Bambi

By TK Burton | Trailers | March 26, 2012 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | March 26, 2012 |

At least, that’s what I’m assuming happens. I didn’t read the damn books, OK?

Here’s the teaser for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2, the climax (cough) of the seemingly never-ending Twilight series, a series of films I continue to watch and continue to regret. At least I never have to see them in the theater surrounded by screaming, seizing tweens (snickers at Steven).

Anyway, here’s the trailer. It’s a little creepy, and Bella apparently now likes venison. She is also no longer boring and plain because she has a man and he made her a vampire and they’ll be together forever and omigod she’s so beautiful and wonderfully sparkly and then they all get disemboweled by ninjas.

Or so I heard. Like I said, I never read the books.

PS — Twilight-related Google image searching remains one of the scariest things on the entire internet. But at least there’s this, courtesy of reader Vi:


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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.