Today’s trailer suck-off is … well, it’s an interesting one. First up, is the latest trailer for Lars von Trier’s Antichrist. The hook? Willem Dafoe has sex on a pile of corpses. I have every expectation that the movie is 17 kinds of fucked up, and knowing von Trier (Dancer in the Dark), he’ll manage to shock and appall his audience, and then send it into a downward spiral of depression that they won’t recover from for weeks. Antichrist has been making the festival rounds this fall, and reviews have been decidedly mixed. Most have focused on the shocking nature of the movie. It may actually be an authentically decent movie once you get past the … well, the pile of corpses. And Willem Dafoe’s ass.
Dude gives me the heebies, y’all.
Check out the trailer:
The other trailer is for a horror porn movie called Vaginal Holocaust. And when I say: Horror porn, I mean it literally. It’s a horror slash porn movie. Obviously, the trailer is very R-rated (the movie will probably only be available on some dude’s website if you give them your credit card number and allow them to charge a monthly fee, which you can cancel at anytime, assuming you have six hours to spend on the phone).
It looks like a home movie edited together with a terrible thrash metal song designed to puncture your eardrums. It looks completely shittastic, but in a way that might be a lot of fun. If you’re 22. Drunk. And at a zombie bachelor party. Or it might be the perfect movie for that cute gorehound couple that wears matching black nail polish looking to spice up their sex life with a little … ummm … you know …. horror porn.
Jesus. The shit people come up with.
Anyway, as bad as it looks (and seriously, it’s beyond NSFW), I think I’d almost rather see Vaginal Holocaust than Antichrist. It certainly gets points for best and/or worst title since Lesbian Vampire Killers. Just whatever you do, for the Love of God, don’t play this at work. Or around your family. Or near your pets. And if you do decide to watch it, don’t blame me for your sticky nightmares this week. I warned you.