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Will These White Girls Never Learn?

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 12, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Trailers | October 12, 2010 |

Seriously, ladies. Have movies taught you nothing? Pretty girls, particularly skinny white ones, should basically never leave the house, because whenever they do, hillbillies or mutants or killer rape-o’s or something is going to hunt you down and seriously mess up your shit.

All of which brings us to And Soon The Darkness, the new movie (it’s actually a remake of a 1970 British thriller of the same name) starring two very pretty girls, Odette Yustman and Amber Heard, who dress sexily and travel to far-off lands, which by Hollywood reasoning means they might as well just shoot themselves. Otherwise, Yustman will go missing (she is after all, the sluttier of the two), and Heard will have to run around screeching and trusting the wrong people and I’m fairly certain she’s going to stumble and fall down at a very inopportune moment.

I guess what I’m saying is, this looks like derivative crap. However, I recently very much enjoyed Yustman in Operation: Endgame, and Amber Heard has been decent in the small parts she had in Pineapple Express and Zombieland. And of course, I will watch pretty much anything with Karl Urban, because the man’s just that cool.

So I’ll watch it. And probably regret it. Here’s the trailer:

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TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.