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All Pain Ends Eventually: Final Trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | September 10, 2012 |

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | September 10, 2012 |

There are only two positive notes about this film. First, it means that we’re done with Twilight movies, at least until Meyer decides to geld another genre. Second, it means that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are going to have to share a red carpet together. That fills with cynical black hearted joy, and I hold out some secret hope that they will both come armed with katana and finish this with honor.

Oh, there’s a trailer for the movie too:

Well you know, I was forced to sit through the last film, and at least this one appears to have actual events happen in it, you know with actual antagonists and protagonists. Of course, the entire plot of the film could be resolved with a phone call, but then that’s the heart of drama in the mind of a writer with this little talent. There are no stakes. Meyer in so in love with her blank slate characters that she can’t summon the will to have anything of import actually happen to them. She cannot imagine a world in which there is actual conflict between individuals, only misunderstandings that escalate irrationally.

Put aside for a moment all of the justified anger about how this story glorifies girls mindlessly doing whatever it takes to please a violent and abusive boyfriend who they’ve known for all of three days. Focus instead on the abysmal laziness of storytelling that could create a narrative spanning thousands of pages and four films in which there is never the slightest actual conflict between characters, only misunderstandings and miscommunications.

Objectionable views do not upset me nearly as much as sheer writerly incompetence.

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Steven Lloyd Wilson is the sci-fi and history editor. You can email him here or follow him on Twitter.