Jacob rides. a. motorcycle! Jacob’s parents aren’t. who. they. say. they. are! Run. Jacob. Run. Hey, is that Lily Collins? Or Emily Browning? Wait? What? Why is Sigourney Weaver in this? Oh, there goes Jacob again. “Who. are. these. people? Whoever. they. are. I. have. to. stop. them!”

The kid knows how to jump, though. I’ll. give. him. that.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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