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Roland Emmerich's Latest Dick Swinging Destruct-O-Picture

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | June 18, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | June 18, 2009 |

Good God. The new trailer for 2012 is out today, and — as you’d expect from Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, Godzilla) — it’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer to your Adam’s apple, although probably a little more painful. There’s enough CGI in this film to basically render those letters meaningless. The movie itself deals with the supposed end of the world, according to the Mayan calendar, and the volcanoes, glaciers, typhoons, and aliens that accompany world destruction. And when Emmerich ends the world, the man really fucking ends the world. And by the looks of this film, we may not need to wait until the year 2012 before we’re all rendered extinct, this movie may do the job for us.

I really don’t know why Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay don’t just take it to the next level and film competing dick-swinging movies. Bay’s dick would cause buildings to explode, and Emmerich’s dick would tear huge tankers in half. Have at it, boys.

3 … 2 … 1 … Dumb.

What’s funny is, I liked the fake trailer better — and honestly, you can barely tell them apart:

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.