Step back. Ishmael is about to schooled. Herman Melville just rolled over in his grave, punched a hole in his coffin, crawled to the surface, stood next to his gravestone, and as the rain poured down upon shirtless frame, he gave a fist pump to the sky and exclaimed, “This motherfuckers, is what I call Moby Dick.”
Ahab can screw himself; 2010 Moby Dick has Barry Bostwick. He’s a Golden Globe winner. Ahab’s a Quaker. Point: 2010 Moby Dick.
Could Melville’s Moby Dick jump out of the water and take down a fighter jet? Hell no. Point: 2010 Moby Dick.
Could Melville’s Moby Dick swallow a goddamn torpedo. Oh, fuck no. Point, Set, Match: 2010 Moby Dick.
I guess we know what TK will be reviewing on November 30th (a Jennifer Love Hewitt Lifetime movie, of course).
(Major Hat Tip: Rykker)