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Have You Ever Wondered If There Was More to Life than Being Really, Really, Ridiculously Good Looking?

By Brian Prisco | Industry | February 25, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Industry | February 25, 2010 |

Zoolander is a terrible movie that I love. I will watch that bastard every time it’s on. Ben Stiller’s writing is like fried chicken — I know it’s bad for me, but I just can’t help myself, and I’m all the sicker for it tomorrow. I’m not gonna quote every line verbatim, but I get a chuckle. It’s got the hallmarks of Stiller’s work — giving people a chance to be totally ridiculous and over the top stereotypes of themselves without taking itself seriously. And then totally falling into shit by the ending. The Cable Guy, Tropic Thunder, Zoolander, his fucking series, all this stuff should have been classics that somehow fall short. And yet he keeps making movies.

Well, he’s trying something new by redoing something old: Stiller’s gonna do a sequel to 2001’s Zoolander — one of the first films to come out in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy. It’s fair to call it an underappreciated gem. Justin Theroux, Stiller’s co-writer on Tropic Thunder, is set to co-write the sequel as well as direct. Now, I love Theroux’s work, and I think that the first half of Tropic Thunder is brilliant. So I’m excited for this.

Except for the fact that they’ve signed Jonah Hill on as the villain. I give Jonah Hill a lot of shit for being talentless, and having a lack of range, and for flat out ruining films with his presence. I’m praying to god that he’s found magic in Cyrus — which actually looks pretty goddamn stunning. But this kid is not going to work. Jonah Hill is the funny fat guy. Unless he’s playing some sort of Goldfinger-type Fat Bastard ripoff, then this is going to suck like Edward Cullen doing a Capri-Sun on obsessed-depressed teen.

Then again, the only thing that made the first Zoolander good was the shitballs randomness of the jokery. So who knows? Maybe Hill will turn in a career-defining performance. Maybe the cameos will be so outrageous and the co-stars rocking so hard that we’ll be dazzled like a full-on Magnum blast. I hope so.

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